


Dinner Manners

by Page_of_Cups



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Bath Sex, Begging, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Dom/sub, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Spanking, Subdrop, Vibrators
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-08-23 12:12:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16618742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Page_of_Cups/pseuds/Page_of_Cups
Summary: “Welcome back!” Julian said. “So, how was your talk with Nadia? Did she tell you how much trouble I’m in after ruining her dinner party again? Is she going to have me locked in the dungeon or give me lashings?”“No, she didn’t say anything. She probably expects you to ruin her dinner parties by now. I think the only reason she still invites you is as a distraction.” Asra paused. “You’re always so preoccupied with your own suffering. Although, I suppose that may be useful tonight if you’re so keen on getting punished.”





	1. Dinner Manners

Nadia laughed and hugged Asra outside of his door before bidding him a good night and walking back down the hallway. He watched her silk gown trail down the corridor and waited until she was completely out of sight then opened his door and slipped inside. Julian was stretched out on a soft purple rug in the middle of the room staring vexedly at a tome of medical diagrams. Smiling nervously, he put down his book and scrambled to stand up when he heard the lock click behind Asra.

“Welcome back!” Julian said. “So, how was your talk with Nadia? Did she tell you how much trouble I’m in after ruining her dinner party again? Is she going to lock me in the dungeon or give me lashings?”

“No, she didn’t say anything. She probably expects you to ruin her parties by now. I think the only reason she still invites you is as a distraction.” He paused. “You’re always so preoccupied with your own suffering. Although, I suppose that may be useful tonight if you’re so keen on getting punished.”

Julian flushed and looked intently at the rug. Asra watched him with a bemused half-grin; his violet eyes betrayed nothing as usual. Asra commanded him to kneel.

Smirking, Julian sank to his knees and placed his hands on his head. “Oh, of course, whatever you say, _Darling._ ”  

Black leather straps materialized around Julian’s arms and pinned them to his body.

“Magic? Really, there are _some_ things that are better done by hand, Asra.”

“Oh, are you sure? I haven’t found any.” The straps pulled tighter and dug into Julian’s flesh.

“Is that as tight as it goes? This isn’t the first time I’ve been tied up, you know.”

“And with the cavalier attitude you always have with the guards, I doubt it will be the last.”

“Probably not,” Julian laughed. The binds were finally tight enough to cause him to flinch in discomfort. Asra knelt in front of him and leaned in slowly until their lips were barely touching. The kiss progressed as naturally as it could with Julian bound the way he was. Asra cupped Julian’s cheek and lightly brushed his tongue across Julian’s bottom lip. Julian’s lips parted in response, and Asra’s tongue slipped inside. Their tongues gently explored each other for a quiet moment. Asra pulled away first but stayed within inches of Julian tenderly stroking his cheek with his thumb. Julian leaned into Asra’s touch. Asra’s slender hands worked their way up his face and through his tousled red hair. Julian tilted his head toward Asra’s fingers and slowly glanced up; his hungry grey eyes met Asra’s before Julian quickly looked away blushing.

Without warning, Asra wound his fingers around Julian’s hair and yanked it in the opposite direction, pulling his face away and exposing the vulnerable skin on his neck and the soft spots under his sharp jaw.

“I would have moved if you asked,” Julian said under his breath.

“I thought some things were better done by hand?” The playfulness in Asra’s voice didn’t put him at ease. Julian knew this was part of Asra’s usual gambit: gentle and permissive at first, then rough and denying. The thought of being used so shamelessly sent a shiver of anticipation down Julian’s body and made his already hard cock twitch. Asra raised an eyebrow at his sudden shudder and grazed the tender flesh of Julian’s exposed neck with his lips.

“That’s not what I-” Julian moaned before he couldn’t manage to speak. Asra felt the vibration of his throat against his lips as he kissed it. He started tracing long, slow figure-eights with his tongue on Julian’s body. It felt better than licking that far above the belt had any right to feel, Julian thought, but regardless, he couldn’t contain his soft, pleasured groans.

Just as Julian was allowing himself to settle into the moment and enjoy his lover’s gentle touch, Asra bit the crook of his neck. Julian shirked away reflexively from the sudden pain, but couldn’t stop himself from moaning. Asra released him, and immediately bit down on his collarbone. Julian sucked his breath through clenched teeth and recoiled sharply.

“Shit, ow. Dammit.” Julian muttered.

Asra looked at him with feigned innocence. His smile was as coy as usual, but there was something about his eyes that seemed almost wildly sadistic. The look would have been intimidating on anyone, but doubly so in Asra’s usually mild-mannered face.  “Do you want me to stop?”

Julian glanced away quickly and bit his lip. As much as he wanted Asra to continue, confessing it out loud was humiliating. Asra waited a moment before repeating his question.

“N-no.” He finally answered.

“Then what do you want me to do?”

“You already know.”

“I already know what? What do you want me to do?”

Julian scoffed and furrowed his eyebrows. He had no desire to tell him exactly how he wanted Asra to pin him down and force himself inside. How he wanted Asra to hit and bite and _hurt_ him - _genuinely hurt him_. His whole body felt unbearably hot from both shame and desire  - and shame regarding that desire. “Please don’t make me say it.”

Asra was not going to show him the mercy of protecting his pride. “Don’t make you say what?”

Julian was quiet for a moment, and Asra wondered if he really did want to call it quits.

“I-” he swallowed. “I want you to use me.”

“Hmm?”

“I want you to use me, Asra. Do whatever you want to me. Use me. I want to do anything you need me to do.” Julian’s face looked as pained making that confession as it did during some their most intense sessions. Asra mentally filed that away for future reference, grabbed one of the straps crisscrossing Julian’s torso and pulled him onto his face.

“Now this part I like to do without magic,” Asra said before deftly undoing Julian’s pants, yanking them off by the cuffs, and tossing them to the floor. Julian laid half-naked and prostrate on the soft, woolen carpet.

“Finally got me where you want me, eh?” Julian asked, still trying to fake a playful tone.

“Not quite.” Asra reached up and grabbed a pillow off of the bed and slid it underneath Julian’s head. “Here. Now maybe you’ll be quiet for once in your life and Vesuvia can get a much-needed break.”

“We’ve done this enough for you to know that’s never how this goes.”

Asra scoffed and traced mindless doodles on Julian’s cheeks. They were soft and round and about to be very tender. “So, about your dinner manners tonight,” he grabbed a handful of Julian’s exposed ass and dug his fingernails in. “Ready?”

He nodded before burying his face in the pillow. Asra wound up and slapped him with a cupped palm on the round part of his ass. The force caused him to jiggle and lurch forward slightly. Knowing the routine, Julian counted a muffled “one” into the pillow. Asra wound up a second time, then a third, and a fourth. Sooner or later, Julian’s counting devolved into just yelping and wincing with each strike.

Asra grabbed a fistful of Julian’s hair and lifted his head out of the pillow. “Count.”

He wound up and hit him again.

Julian’s voice was shaky and broken, but he finally managed to resume where he left off. Realizing Julian was close to his limit, Asra gave him one final, lighter swat and let go of his hair. Julian gasped and breathed heavily with his face turned away from the pillow.

“Feeling okay?” Asra asked once Julian’s breathing had returned somewhat to normal.

“Y-yeah.” His voice and his body were still shaking. His skin was flushed pink, and his ass was as red as it could be without breaking the skin.

“Glad to hear it.” Asra gently moved Julian to his back. Once Julian’s violent shaking had subsided, Asra grabbed a cruet of olive oil from a nearby table.

“Do you want to stop?”

Julian’s eagerness for Asra’s touch had rid him of his sense of shame. “No,” he said quickly.

“Good.” Asra sat up and poured the oil into his palm, rubbed it over and between his fingers, and gently started massaging Julian’s asshole. Julian moaned appreciatively, and his cock twitched painfully again. Asra continued and started working his fingers inside Julian who was moaning loud enough for anyone passing in the hallway to immediately understand what was happening in the bedroom. Somewhere in the back of Asra’s mind, he quietly hoped the guards would walk past the guest chamber during their nightly patrol and feel compelled to investigate. The head of Julian’s cock was glistening with precum.

“Ah- Ah, Asra. More. I wa- I want you. Please. Ah-Asra, please.”

Asra smirked and picked up the cruet again and poured more oil into his hands. However, instead of using it to lubricate himself, he twisted his other hand and produced a tapered glass sculpture.

“N-no, I want--  you. I want you. I -- want-- _you_ , he said hurriedly before seizing with another moan. “Asra I want _you_.”

“That can wait,” he said. “This will do for now. I need a snack. Do you want anything from the kitchen?”

“N-no! Stay, stay stay stay!” Julian sounded like a skipping record.

“No? Alright then. I’ll be back soon. In the meantime, don’t come.” Asra winked and gently pushed it inside of Julian. “Almost forgot!” The sculpture started moving on its own and vibrating inside of Julian. His body immediately seized with pleasure, and his moan was almost a scream. “Oh, and just so you don’t get any ideas…” More leather straps appeared and secured Julian’s thighs to the floor. “I’ll be back!”

Asra closed the door behind him.

“DAMMIT!” Julian shouted. His hips instinctively bucked into the empty air. Although he knew it was futile, he struggled against leather ropes that held him in place. He wanted nothing more than to chase Asra down the hall, naked, sweating, and seconds away from coming and beg him to get back in the bedroom to finish what he started. The pressure building inside him was unbearably painful. The vibrator alone was nearly enough to push him over the edge of orgasm; he just needed something - _anything_ \- to give him the slightest friction to finally release.

Meanwhile, Asra walked leisurely down the hall into the kitchen. He washed his hands thoroughly before searching for something to eat. He grabbed a few lemon cakes and a few slices of bread that were leftover from dinner. He smirked when he heard Julian moaning and cursing him from all the way down the hall and wondered how many other people could hear him. Considering all the doctors and clergy and magicians who had been in and out of the palace working on a cure that evening, certainly at least a few others had decided to spend the night in one of the nearby guest chambers. While he was lost in thought, Asra felt a familiar squeeze sliding up his arm.

“Snack!” Faust told Asra.

“Something like that,” Asra said as he scratched under her chin. “I’m going back to the room if you’d like a ride. Julian’s there, but I’m not sure if you’ll want to see him like... that.”

She clung tighter to his body. “Squeeze!”

“I think he’s tied down well enough without you tonight.”  

Asra opened the door just enough for him to slip back into the room. Julian was drenched in sweat and moaning obscenely.

“Asshole!” Julian barely managed to yell at him.  
“Want a lemon cake? Bread?”

“No!” Julian eyed Faust. His expression turned as deadpan as it could given the circumstances. “No.”

“Obviously not. Don’t be so disgusting. I’m not like the crowd you’re used to at the Rowdy Raven. Faust is just ready to head to bed is all, and I feel much better knowing where-”

Julian wasn’t listening. “FUCK ME.”

Asra popped a bite-sized pastry into his mouth and swallowed. “Why?”

“I- I-” Julian moaned. “I n-need it. I n-need yo-u.”

Asra took a slice of bread, set down his bundle of snacks, helped Faust off of his arm, and joined Julian on the floor. Without a word, he took the vibrator out of Julian. For a few moments, Julian continued to spasm and gasp on the floor. Asra watched on, amused by his typical theatrics.

“Good job not coming,” Asra said with a kiss once Julian had regained some semblance of composure.

“I knew you’d be disappointed.”

“You’re right, I would. Should I finish you off properly now?”

Julian looked him straight in the face. “Please.”

The binds holding Julian to the floor melted away in an instant. His body relaxed and he rubbed the indents in his skin. Asra kissed him gently and trailed his fingers down Julian’s feathery chest hair. Asra picked up the cruet for the last time that night and rubbed the oil on his cock. He carefully knelt between Julian’s knees and propped himself up with his elbows on either side of Julian’s chest.  
“Are you ready?”

Julian nodded, his senses too overwhelmed to make a coherent reply. Gently, slowly, Asra thrusted the head of his cock inside of Julian. They both moaned as he began thrusting. Julian’s rolled his hips desperately to try to push Asra’s cock deeper inside of him. Bright red bruises were already starting to form on Julian’s neck; Asra kissed them delicately and cupped his face again, this time with no ulterior motives other than to caress Julian’s face. Julian felt Asra’s panting breath cooling the sweat on his shoulders. Julian wrapped his trembling legs around Asra, who then reached down and began stroking Julian’s cock. The feeling of finally having Asra’s hand wrapped around him was more than he could handle. He felt himself starting to lose control quickly, and each shock of pleasure hit him sooner than the last.  
“Asra, I- I-”

“Shh, it’s okay. Let it happen.”

Julian bit the meat of his palm, but still couldn’t suppress his screams while he came on his own torso and Asra’s hand. Every muscle in his body locked, causing him to arch toward Asra and convulse as the building pressure released in warm waves through his body. Not wanting to overwhelm him further, Asra pulled out of Julian and began stroking his own cock. The hour of anticipation had built in him too, and it wasn’t long before he threw his head back, moaned, and came, albeit with much fewer histrionics, on Julian’s midsection.

Once his mind had cleared, he took a moment to admire the man below him. Julian, typically so bold and obnoxious was reduced to this mess: sweating, bruised, breathless, and covered in both of their emissions. Not wanting to make the messy situation any worse, Asra rolled over to Julian’s side instead of curling up on him.

Julian panted in exhaustion and stared blankly at the ceiling. Asra wiped the sweat off of Julian’s forehead and kissed it.

“I’ll get you a towel,” Asra said as he stood up gracefully. He straightened out his clothing, walked across the room, and pulled a grey towel off a nearby chair. He tossed it to Julian who didn’t even make an attempt to catch it. The towel landed on his face, but for a moment, he made no effort to remove it or start wiping himself off.

“I could really use a bath after that. Care to join me?” Asra asked.

Julian finally took the towel off of his face and wiped his chest. His body still felt too weak to stand. “No.”

“I don’t mean to be so forthright about it, but you need the bath far more than me. Let’s go.” His voice was gentle, a far cry from the terse commands he made earlier. He waited a moment. Julian still refused to look at him. “Ilya, are you okay?”

Julian ignored him. It wasn’t the first time Julian had become despondent after a rough session, but it bothered Asra regardless.

Asra crouched next to him and brushed his cheek with the back of his hand hoping that Julian would at least respond to the touch. He didn’t. Asra waited a moment before repeating his question.

“It’s just - this is a mistake,” Julian finally answered. “I want you, and I want you more than anything, but I’m going to hurt you. I hurt everyone. I can’t manage to do anything right, and the last thing I want to do is get you caught up in my self-destruction.”

“That can be a problem for future us. Let’s try to enjoy this moment together, at least, okay?”

Julian made a bad attempt at a smile and leaned into Asra’s touch again. “Okay.” They looked at each other tenderly and absorbed the moment. “Now, about that bath.”

“On it.” Asra helped Julian up off the floor. His body still felt weak, but he managed to walk with Asra to the bath. Asra closed his eyes and concentrated, and the tub filled with warm, steaming water. Julian mockingly wiggled his fingers back and forth at the tub and rolled his eyes playfully at Asra.

“Just get in,” Asra said, finding himself unable to be truly annoyed by Julian’s teasing.

Julian kissed him quickly on the forehead. “On it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing fan fic, so comment/ critiques are more than welcome (๑•́ ω •̀๑)


	2. Bath Time

Julian tugged off his shirt and got in first. The tub was large and had more than enough room for the two of them to move freely. He was grateful that all of the baths in the palace were more than generously sized; it was difficult enough to find one where he could fit comfortably let alone actually move around. Asra stepped in but immediately pulled his foot back out.

“That’s much too hot. Isn’t it burning you?” He asked.

“It is.” Julian sounded unaffected. He watched as Asra stood naked above him, his taught golden skin gleaming from sweat and steam. Asra closed his eyes, and the bathwater cooled to a more tolerable temperature. He re-entered the water and sat on the bath’s bench with his arms stretched out on the rim. Julian tried to sit next to him but found that he was too sore to comfortably do so and settled on an awkward half-kneel instead. He started to lean into Asra’s shoulder, but Asra flinchingly set his arm down between them when he approached. Hurt but trying to diffuse the awkward situation, Julian got up and picked up a bottle of salt that was sitting on the edge of the bath. He sniffed it and offered it to Asra, smiling wistfully.

“Smells like home,” Julian said. He held the bottle a little closer to Asra who wrinkled his nose and turned away. “Too strong? That’s fair. I’m not even sure if these are even from Nevivon, actually. Something’s a little off. Do you mind if I use them anyway?”

“Go ahead.” Julian poured the bottle in the water and sank so that only half of his face was above the surface. The ends of his hair floated out around him. He took a deep breath and crossed his legs so he was half crouching and fully submerged directly across from Asra, who was already covered in soap. Asra scoffed, tucked himself between his legs, and crossed his thighs.

“Haven’t you had enough for one night?” Asra asked with a smirk when Julian reemerged and rubbed the water off his face.

“I don’t think I could ever have enough of you, dear.” Asra’s smile dropped for a half second then bounced right back.

“Oh, no? It seemed like you had more than enough a few minutes ago.” Julian blushed and bit his lip, looking at the wall beyond Asra.

“You know, I really don’t think that this is quality enough to be Nevivon salt, but it’s still very good. I’m sure the Countess spared no expense as usual.”

“You’re changing the subject, Ilya.” Julian folded his arms across his chest and look down at the water. Asra snickered at his sudden bashfulness.

“It’s not that, it’s just, ah…”

Asra reached up to cup Julian’s face and pressed his thumb between his lips, gently pulling his jaw down. Julian opened his mouth slightly, and Asra pressed his thumb inside. He closed his lips around his thumb, gently sucked it into his mouth, and closed his eyes. His tongue was soft and warm as it circled Asra’s fingertip and flicked up and down the pad of his thumb. Julian sucked Asra’s thumb in and out of his mouth with the muscles in his cheeks and placed his hands delicately on Asra’s hips. Everything tasted like saltwater. He wrapped his tongue around Asra’s thumb and gently slid his mouth over it entirely until his lips met the meat of his palm. Asra’s eyes twinkled with a familiar slyness. He grabbed Julian’s flaccid cock and squeezed it. When Julian was Asra’s age, he wouldn’t have needed a break... but he was not Asra’s age. His cock stiffened slightly but refused to become fully erect. Still having the vitality and libido his youth afforded him, Asra had no such difficulties. Noticing Asra was becoming hard again, Julian took Asra’s hand in his, extended the middle and index fingers, and took them in his mouth as far as his jaw would let him.

“You know these theatrics aren’t necessary, right? We both know you can get much farther than that,” Asra said with a grin.

“Alright then,” Julian said and effortlessly hoisted the magician onto the outer rim of the bath. He felt light in Julian’s grip. His legs parted welcomingly. Julian gladly accepted the invitation and moved between them. He licked the underside of Asra’s cock from base to tip, then took the head into his mouth. Julian’s cheeks caved in around the tip of his cock. His tongue flicked the frenulum across its width, then traced it up and over the slit of his head. Asra made a pleasured sigh and threw his head back. Julian circled the underside of the head of his cock with his tongue.

“ _Mmm...Ilya.._ ”

Heat rolled through Julian’s body at the sound of his name, but he knew he was well past his limit for the night. His tongue alternated from quick flicks to slow laps across the extra sensitive parts of Asra’s tip. Asra bucked his hips slightly.

“More, Ilya. More.”

Julian obeyed, mouth bobbing up and down on Asra’s cock, taking in more of his length on each downstroke. He moved down Asra greedily but kept his teeth well hidden; Asra couldn’t feel the slightest hint of them despite Julian’s rushed pace. Asra placed his wet hands on the back of Julian’s head to encourage him to put the skills he was showing off earlier to work. Julian worked his way down until his cock was hitting the back of his throat. He paused a moment to look up at Asra, who then curled his fingers in Julian’s hair to press his head down. Eager to please him, Julian placed his hands on Asra’s hips to push his cock down his throat more easily. The tightness made Asra groan softly. Nearly gagging but still determined, Julian forced himself to take all of Asra down his throat.

His nose pressed against Asra’s white, wispy tuft of hair before he paused. Although he was barely managing to keep it together, Julian’s tongue moved down the underside of Asra’s cock as much as it could. He breathed labouriously to prevent himself from gagging and took in as much of Asra’s scent as he could. He was disappointed Asra’s light, earthy smell was replaced by the strong lavender and honey soap he had just washed himself with; it was a little too much like Nadia for his taste. Asra’s other hand found its way into Julian’s hair.

Suddenly, he jerked Julian’s head back to the tip of his cock and then shoved him back down again. The reverberation of Asra’s moans made Julian’s body feel flushed and hot. Everything about Asra was beautiful and perfect: his skin, his hair, his light, airy voice. Everything about Asra made him feel an empty sense of longing that he could only hope would eventually be reciprocated. He pushed the thought away.

Julian was struggling. His eyes watered and his chin was covered in saliva. Asra didn’t seem to notice or care as he continued pulling him forward and back. The bathwater splashed the underside of Asra’s thighs as Julian was moved through it. It took much longer than usual, but he could tell Asra was finally getting close to orgasm without him having to say anything. Asra’s pace was quick but clumsy as he snapped Julian back and forth. His muscles were tense. His vocalizations were louder and echoed off of the tiled walls. No other warning was given when Asra grabbed Julian’s hair tightly and plunged himself as deeply as he could down his throat. With a quiet groan, he came pressing roughly inside Julian, who was still as a statue. When he was finished, Asra released his hair. Julian pulled away quickly and swallowed. His face twisted involuntarily with disgust at the taste, and he swallowed a mouthful of the salty bathwater to clear it. Everything about Asra may have been perfect and beautiful, but try as he might, Julian still couldn’t pretend come tasted good, even if it _was_  Asra’s. Asra scooted off the rim to sit next to Julian in the water. Julian cuddled up close to him and rested his head on Asra’s shoulder without hesitation. This time Asra tolerated the closeness and wrapped his arm around him.

“You’re absolutely exhausting, Ilya.”

Julian was concerned until he saw the contented look on Asra’s face. They sat for a moment just letting themselves soak in the silence and the salty water. “Have you made any progress with finding a cure, do you think?” Julian asked.

“No, not really.” His tone was casual as if Julian had asked if he was enjoying the weather. “Though I’m certain there’s some magic involved.”

Julian breathed deeply, taking in as much of the salt water smell as he could. He held onto Asra a little tighter. “Is it awful that I can’t even enjoy this? Every moment I’m away from my work feels like wasted time. How many more people will die because I took a break?”

Asra pressed a kiss into Julian’s hair and squeezed him a little tighter. “It’s not good to run yourself ragged like this. You need to take breaks. You need to sleep.”

“I’ve watched so many people die, and there was nothing I could do to help them.” Julian’s voice was hoarse. “My little sister and I - have I told you about her before? - her name is Pasha. I haven’t seen her in years. I know she’s not in Vesuvia, but the plague… I wonder… I hope-” He tensed in Asra’s arms and sobbed. Despite his discomfort, Asra held him closer, allowing Julian to nuzzle against his chest. Julian’s sentence had been cut off, but the sentiment still hung heavy in the air. I hope she’s not dead. Asra tried to dry Julian’s face but succeeded only in replacing the salty tears on his cheeks with the salty bathwater. The room was silent except for the quiet sloshing of water and the echoes of Julian’s broken sobs. Eventually, he gathered himself and calmed down.

“Have you lost anyone?” Julian asked softly. Asra’s response was barely a whisper.

“I don’t want to talk about it, but yes.”

Julian nodded sympathetically. “Whenever I try to sleep, I can’t help but think of everyone who’s succumbed to it. Strangers, long-term patients at the clinic, even the other doctors. Why should I survive when people so much more worthy of living haven’t?”

“The plague is almost random with the people it infects. You know that.”

“I know. It just isn’t fair that a monster like me should live when they…” Julian’s voice trailed off. He forced himself to muster up the resolve to finish his thought this time. “I had an apprentice back at my clinic. I should have protected them. It was my job to protect them, and I didn’t. I should have noticed that they were infected at least, but I was so engrossed in finding a cure that I didn’t. When I finally found out...” He gave himself another moment to regain his composure. “They didn’t have any medical background, but they wanted to help anyway. They were a magician. Owned a little shop in the city center. You remind me a lot of them, actually.”

Asra looked at him with a strange mix of shock, rage, and heartbreak. It took Julian a moment to understand the cause of Asra’s sudden, uncharacteristic intensity. The realization tied knots in his stomach. His apprentice had told him stories about a wandering magician friend - or perhaps lover was a more accurate term- and Asra was it. Asra was the friend. That is why he came to the palace to work on a cure. Julian kicked himself for not connecting the dots earlier.

“Asra, they were… Asra?” Asra untangled himself from Julian and vaulted out of the bath.

“Asra! Wait, I- please -” Asra smoothed his hands over his chest. The water flicked off of his skin, leaving a small puddle underneath his feet. Julian stumbled out and tried to follow him. Asra yanked a robe off of the hook by the door and shrugged it on as he went back to the guest chamber. Julian tried to follow, but Asra flicked his wrist, making the door magically slam and lock behind him. Julian rattled the handle and pounded on the door but received no answer. A minute passed, and the door opened slightly. When Julian was finally able to enter, Asra was nowhere to be seen. He got dressed the bare minimum for decency and called for him down the hall with equally little luck. Everything in his body felt heavy. His heart ached. He wanted to talk to him, to at least get the chance to apologize, but he knew Asra well enough to know that pressing the issue at the moment was not in anyone’s best interest. With not much else to do, Julian figured he might as well get back to work. He went back into the guest chamber, finished getting dressed, and headed down to the dungeons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might continue this, might not. (´ ꒳ ` ;)


	3. Morning After

Early the next morning, Julian emerged from the dungeon and returned to the guest room that he and Asra had been sharing. Everything was exactly how he remembered it being the previous night, and there was no evidence that Asra had returned since their spat. Julian sighed and headed to the private bathroom where they had fought.

Once there, he carefully undressed, making sure to unbutton his shirt completely to avoid needing to pull it over his head. Upon its removal, he noticed a dried patch of blood that had splattered around his apron and made a mental note to make sure it went to the incinerator and not the laundry. Julian examined the washcloths, picked the coarsest one of the lot (which was still leagues softer than anything he had used prior to coming to the palace) and the strongest smelling mint soap and brought them to the bath with him. He scrubbed his body harshly, making sure to take extra care around the spots where his shirt had been bloodied until every inch of his skin was raw and pink. Asra would be chiding him for that, Julian knew, if he were there. Then Julian dunked his head under the water and dragged his nails through his scalp, lathering his hair with shampoo as he went. It felt good to get out the dried sweat (and other fluids) that had glued his hair down while he worked in the dungeon.  

There were so many things he wanted to say to Asra about what had happened - both last night and with his apprentice - but he had no idea where to start. Julian stared at his own long, limp limbs in the water and sighed. There had to be  _ something _ he could say to Asra to make him understand how terrible he felt about the whole situation. He decided to practice.

“You can do this, Ilya,” Julian said to himself, his voice reverberating in the empty room. “Asra… I. I’m sorry about what happened to your friend. They were a great apprentice, and they didn’t deserve what happened to them. If you have any questions, I’m here to answer them.”

Julian ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. That was almost word-for-word what he told the family members of his patients when their loved one passed from the plague. It was too cold. Too sterile. He tried again.

“Asra, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness after what happened to your friend, but I wanted to apologize nonetheless- no. No, no.” Julian groaned and slid his palms down his face. “Asra, your friend didn’t deserve to die from the plague and I’m scum and  _ I  _ should have been the one carted off to the Lazaret, not them.”

_ Too self-pitying,  _ Julian thought to himself. He tried again and again, but every time he did, the words came out more awkward, more desperate sounding. Finally giving up, he got out of the bath, dried off with one of the palace’s fluffy white towels, and dressed in fresh clothes. 

He went back to his guest chamber and sat on the edge of the bed. Julian looked over all of Asra’s things still strewn about the room. Several magical texts were still stacked next to his nest of pillows on the floor. Surely if he had left the palace with no intention to return he would have taken them with, and if Asra still had business with the palace, Nadia was sure to know about it. Julian took a minute in the mirror to make his still-damp hair look almost presentable and hurried off to her chamber. 

By the time he arrived at Nadia’s room, Julian was out of breath and unsure whether his shirt was damp from getting dressed in the steamy bathroom or sweat. He was too anxious to care either way and knocked on the door. After a tense moment of waiting, it was open, and Nadia was standing in the doorway. 

“Good morning, Doctor Devorak. This is unexpectedly early,” Nadia said.

“Er, yes, Countess, my apologies for disturbing you, but have you seen Asra?”

Nadia didn’t look at all surprised by the question. “I have.”

“Great!” Julian paused, waiting for an elaboration that didn’t come. “Er, could you tell me where he is?”

“He’s having some alone time at the moment. It would be wise for you to respect that.”

“I- Of course, milady,” Julian said blushing at the accusation. 

He stood in the doorway awkwardly for a moment and peeked into Nadia’s room. Though he didn’t mean to snoop, he couldn’t help but notice that one of her bedside tables had been cleared and looked ready for a tarot reading, and her hair was braided in the intricate way he had only seen Asra do. 

“Milady, was he here last night?” Julian asked.

Nadia shifted to obscure Julian’s view into her room. “He was. He was quite upset.”

“Did he tell you about what happened?”   


“He did.”

Julian’s shoulders slumped. “I never would have spoken so openly about my apprentice had I known they were a friend of his. I had no idea.”

“You didn’t?” Nadia looked suspicious. 

“Not at all… Did he?”

“He’s known since before he arrived at the palace. Your apprentice left letters summarizing what had occurred in Asra’s absence if my understanding is correct.”

“He… he knew,” Julian said, feeling stricken. Asra knew that his friend apprenticed under him. That Julian had been called to the palace, and during that time, they contracted the plague and died. Asra knew that Julian had abandoned them and that they faced the ravages of the plague - the horrors of which Julian knew all too well - by themselves.  _ That… explains a lot _ Julian thought. His worry and grief were overtaken by a sudden wave of shame.

“I have to talk to him, milady. Please, if you know-” Julian was cut off by a wave of Nadia’s hand.

“I suggest you give him the space he needs, Doctor Devorak. Perhaps you can use the time to rest or find a cure for our  _ beloved _ Count.” Nadia placed her hand over her heart and rolled her eyes. Julian laughed, relieved to hear that at least she wasn’t angry with him.

“Of course, milady.” 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, my  _ dear husband  _ is expecting me in his chambers for breakfast. You’re more than welcome to join if you so wish.”

“That’s quite the generous offer, but I’m afraid I’ll have to decline, as much as I  _ adore  _ spending mornings with the Count.”

“Very well. I shall see you at his usual appointment then.”

“Yes, milady.”

They said their final farewells, and Julian returned to his guest chamber. As soon as he opened the door, he felt the compounded fatigue of several sleepless nights and barely managed to throw off his boots before falling into the bed.

 

The rustling of papers woke Julian sometime in the early afternoon. He jerked awake, startled by the sudden noise.

“Asra?” Julian called out.

Asra turned but said nothing as he continued gathering his books. Julian sat up.

“I… I’m sorry,” He stammered. “I didn’t know. I didn’t know you were close to my apprentice. I didn’t know they had the plague or that they were taken to the Lazaret or that they…”  _ Died,  _ Julian thought but couldn’t bring himself to finish. Asra stood frozen in place, staring at the books on the floor. 

“I was a fool for not connecting it earlier. They talked about you all the time. Not by name, mind you, but it was you, I’m sure of it,” Julian said, his voice sounding more even but still full of contrition. “You and Faust.”

Asra turned his head slowly toward Julian. His eyes were red and puffy, and it was clear he had been crying for quite some time. The steadiness that Julian’s voice had gained was suddenly lost and his words quavered again.

“They said”- Julian paused to swallow back tears- “They talked about how they missed going to the market with you, back before everyone was afraid to leave their houses, and how sometimes you’d close the shop for the afternoon just to look at scarves and other pretty things... And that no matter how busy things got, you’d always make sure to stop by to get your favourite bread. Pumpkin bread, right?” 

Asra sobbed and sank to his knees, facing the wall. Julian wiped his own cheek with the back of his hand and joined Asra on the floor. Quietly, Julian reached an arm around Asra who shirked away immediately. Julian sighed, wanting nothing more than to hold his trembling body and give him the comfort he so obviously needed. 

“I am so, so sorry,” Julian said, cautiously breaking the long silence. “I made a  _ lot _ of mistakes. I should have done more-”

“You should have,” Asra said, cutting him off. Julian nodded somberly and wiped Asra’s face. Much to Julian’s surprise, he allowed it. 

“I’m sure I will be judged by the heavy weight of my sins, that included. You're shaking, please, let me-" Julian pressed his luck and tried to hold Asra again.

"Don't."

Julian sighed and backed off. "Please, Asra. I want to help. Tell me how."

"Can you bring them back?" Asra asked.

"I... No. I can't."

"Then you can't help."

The room was quiet aside from the noises in the hall and out the window as the world moved around them. Julian remembered the advice Nadia had given him and thought twice about trying to lean in for a third time, so they sat in silence. Asra continued to stare at the wall and only moved to wipe his cheeks and wrap his arms around himself. Julian watched him, unsure of how to respond. He felt his own heartbreaking over both seeing Asra so absolutely wrecked and the thoughts of his apprentice.

"The best I can do is try to continue their work and find a cure in their honour and let them live through our work. Doing this” - Julian motioned vaguely at Asra as he spoke- "to yourself won't bring them back, either."

Asra bristled and, though he was still refusing to look at Julian, his glare intensified significantly. When Asra finally spoke, his voice had a flat, cold determination that Julian assumed was a renewed vigour for their research.

“Right.”


End file.
